My business partner
Willis Daniels is a force of nature and one of the smartest and most
enthusiastic people I have ever met, he may be wrong but he’s rarely in doubt.
When Willis came to me and said “We gotta do this
Warrior Camp thingy," I was immediately on board. I thought if we could design something
that actually helps that opportunity would be awesome. The village was
about camaraderie and being part of a unit. Our designs were fleshed out
and used in presentations given by
Captain Jake Clark. Following
these initial efforts I would hear little snippets about how the rock
ceremonies were so moving, or how the project was changing peoples’ lives.
I was never witness to the effects and power of the project.
Willis had thrown out the idea that I should go through the
project. I would understand what the needs of the warriors were and what
they would be experiencing. At first I was incredibly intimidated by this
prospect. How would I ever relate to a group of warriors? The
prospect lingered in my head as if my inner self was banging on me as if to say
“this could really help more warriors and YOU!!!” My wife got involved
and reminded me of how I could help and this was a chance to help others. So, I
contacted Jake late one night about my attendance in the project. He went
over my reason for doing the program more explicitly than I could explain it myself. He said
with a better understanding of what these guys
are going through I could design something even more fantastic than the first
go around and I would even learn how to meditate.
When the week approached, I found myself doing the usual
self-destructive patterns I always do. I tried to button up work
(yeah right) I barely packed, and of course I left late just to make sure I
missed something. My mind was expressing itself this way because I was
downright nervous. I knew I had to open myself for the experience and
there might be some emotions involved, I hate those things.
Then everything changed.
The week was the most intense soul changing experience I could
have ever imagined. Everyday I faced another fear or weakness in myself
and confronted it head-on.
Suzi Landolphi instantly recognized and gave
me the tools to deal with my relationships.
Rosemary Alden showed me that the
path to myself was right in front of me all along I just had to listen to
myself and trust myself. At the ropes course
Philip and Michael got the
big dig in, I finally dealt with the early passing of my father and finding the
happiness of the memories of my childhood and being able to pass those happy
times onto my children. This part of the process still makes me tear up
and realize how much I miss him and those happy days. At the end of the
climbing day, I was spent. I thought I had reached my emotional
fulfillment. I had emptied that bucket of all the emotional hardship that
had been clouding my soul and my judgment. Then…I had a talk with Dusty.
We had a long talk on the way back to the camp. I admired his enthusiasm
for life and his force of joy. There was skeptical parts of me inside
still saying “No way can this guy be this excited and enthused about life its
gotta be fake” but the exposed part of myself said “This guy is so awesome; I
want to get what he’s got. I want to be that “AMAZING” guy.” He told me
100 different ways about how happiness is a choice so why not chose to be
happy. I finally believed him after the first 99 times of disbelief. Really
??!!it can not be that easy NO WAY. I made a deal with Dusty. I
would start out the next day and “Choose to be Happy.”
I started out the third day honoring my deal, (one that I have
kept ever since) and headed out to
Big Heart Ranch. I took in lessons
about inter-dependence and co-dependence from the animals. I learned that
you can’t bullshit horses.
I am deathly afraid of horses, but my fear did
not seem to matter anymore. I released all my trivial facades about
myself and just let myself be myself. Next thing I knew I was riding
around on a giant horse. Fellow cohorts already noticed that I had
been transformed. According to Magic Steve I was floating around with a
smile plastered to my face. That night on a rock climbing adventure on
the side of the cliff Steve Howell noticed the kid in me trying to get
out. He said, “Come on Let’s Go
Find that Kid Inside.” The climbing
that night was the first time in the longest time that I just felt plain and
simple joy. The feeling was so clear and pure.
The most amazing part of my journey was connecting with the men
in the cohort. They welcomed me in from the beginning. I was not an
observer, but a participant. They were going to share my path and I am
sharing theirs. Everything from the fabulous rat stories from John to the
tender underside of men who are trying to keep their lives and marriages
together made everyone in the cohort a brother. I have never bonded with
anyone this way before. The strength of that bond will endure a long
time.
21 Days from the beginning of meditation.
I am evolving into who I am and who I want to be and the journey
is “Amazing.” I have decided to stop being a bystander in my own
life. I have taken up Taekwondo with my kids and I have been swimming
with them as well. I have reset boundaries on relationships so that I no
longer get hurt. My wife and kids have embraced the new me, the one that
comes from a place of understanding and strength and not fear and
frustration. I communicate with emotion in email and in person. I am becoming a really cool guy to be around. Everyday I wake up and I
chose to be happy. Thank you everyone for making the choice so easy to
make.
- eddie
This week with Save A Warrior clearly had an incredible impact on Eddie...He is going to help 'Save A Warrior' by building a retreat for them. What are you doing?
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I started out the third day honoring my deal, (one that I have
kept ever since) and headed out to Big Heart Ranch. I took in lessons
about inter-dependence and co-dependence from the animals. I learned that
you can’t bullshit horses.
I am deathly afraid of horses, but my fear did
not seem to matter anymore. I released all my trivial facades about
myself and just let myself be myself. Next thing I knew I was riding
around on a giant horse. Fellow cohorts already noticed that I had
been transformed. According to Magic Steve I was floating around with a
smile plastered to my face. That night on a rock climbing adventure on
the side of the cliff Steve Howell noticed the kid in me trying to get
out. He said, “Come on Let’s Go Find that Kid Inside.” The climbing
that night was the first time in the longest time that I just felt plain and
simple joy. The feeling was so clear and pure.
